Dearly Beloved for 20 Years
Why I think success in marriage is remembering that Dearly Beloved is actually everyone else
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, for 20 years today. I’ve said it many years in a row now, but we are happier than ever. Being married to each other truly does get easier, in our experience, even as life is sometimes more complicated than ever.
What is the secret of our success? I believe that Chris is God’s gift to me for every circumstance, and Chris believes I am God’s gift to him. What do you do with a gift? You thank the giver. You cherish it. You love, appreciate, enjoy and do with it what it was made for. Chris and I love and enjoy each other, but we also believe we were made for God, not each other. And I think that has made us very happy indeed.
In 20 years of anniversaries, we have celebrated in big ways and little. Our first few years of marriage are captured in a time when camera phones were terrible, so we don’t have as many photos digitally. But we took a trip to Victoria, BC for our first wedding anniversary (although I think we went in August) and a day trip to Friday Harbor for our 2nd. For our 3rd, we ate at 13 Coins, a quintessential old Seattle restaurant, but that year we also went to Hawaii. For our 4th, Chris surprised me with a night in the Westin and we went on a hike.
Beginning in 2009, life threw us a variety of big events around the time of our anniversary, including our vision trip to Spain, candidate seminar, the birth of our first child, and support raising while expecting another child (5th-9th anniversaries).
For our 10th, we went to an Argentinian restaurant and toured the Theo Chocolate factory in Seattle. We wrote our favorite memories on the paper table cloth and brought it home. Years 11 and 12 involved normal dates, but on our 13th anniversary (2017) we were on an epic road trip through the South, and we ate at Slightly North of Broad in Charleston, SC with the kids and stayed an extra night.
In 2018 we finally started celebrating anniversaries in Spain. For the first one, we went to Madrid with the kids and some coworkers to get our residency papers. Our coworkers introduced us to Celicioso, where we have celebrated a few anniversary dates since then. For our 14th, the kids stayed with Spanish friends and we went out to eat (we usually go out to eat).
Last year, we were unexpectedly in the States for our 19th, so we went to Cactus in Kirkland.
July 10 was our big 20th anniversary and we were both fighting head colds, tired from a week of kids camp, and participating in teen camp each evening. We went on a breakfast date to Brilla and held hands, and I shared all these photos in my Instagram stories.
These mundane circumstances of our daily life on a special date reminded me that the Dearly Beloved at the beginning of the wedding ceremony isn’t for the bride and groom. The Dearly Beloved are the witnesses who gathered to celebrate our union. I like to think they are also the witnesses of our union in all its various stages since that day.
So we were glad to be serving God on our wedding anniversary, and our prayer is that our marriage would bless you and remind you how beloved of God you are.
Making Much of Myself
:: ABWE published an essay of mine on their blog. Coincidentally, it’s quite on theme for this newsletter.
:: In 2024 I started this One Line a Day journal, which I’m very excited about. If I keep it up, I can’t say I don’t write every day.
Making Much of Others
“With no education or options, a friend brought me to a brothel to work. I eventually ran my own. I recruited girls into the brothels myself. Today, I go into the same neighborhoods filled with brothels that I used to work in so that I can bring women and girls out of the dark life of exploitation and help them experience true freedom.”
Zi Yun, Trades of Hope Artisan in East Asia
Trades of Hope is no longer a direct sales company! After reimagining its business model to be more sustainable for the artisans it serves, ToH has a new website and rewards program. I hope you’ll check it out. Ethical Fashion has been a passion project of mine for the past few years, though it’s harder to do in Europe. They have loads of beautiful jewelry items and handbags this season, but I cannot get enough of the home goods in particular.
To see sales and new products, you could also join my Ethical Fashion and More group.
Making Memories
The next few weeks bring a number of exciting opportunities for memory-making, including Spain playing in the Eurocup finals, visitors, a trip to London, and the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris. We’ll just be watching on TV, but it will be nice to be in the same time zone as the games.
Making Food
It’s the hottest part of summer. All I’m making is gazpacho (which I don’t make, I just buy it), and melon. And iced coffee.
Thank you for such an amazing article complete with wonderful pictures. I know Don and I feel the same way. I am so thankful for him, he for me, and to God Who made it all possible. God keeps us glued together with His love and His wisdom to cope with the everyday tangles that come our way. Most of all, we are thankful for the union we have with Christ that makes it all possible. Congrats to you and Chris as you navigate a very busy life.