Sustained, Part II

The word I chose last year to set the stage for 2011 was sustained. I wanted to experience in the moment how God sustains me in the ups and downs of life. It really was the perfect word for the year I labored to deliver our daughter and stopped laboring at the day job that helped pay our mortgage, because truly, God has sustained us. I know He did sustain us, and looking back at some of the blog posts from this year I see it more clearly. But if I am being honest, I don't think I succeeded at all.

In the moment, I very rarely was able to acknowledge God's sovereignty over a given situation. During Susanna's first week, I leaned on my husband, who was incredibly loving and serving, and on the scriptures, which I read nearly every night in preparation for caring for a newborn.

Here is an example, from the deepest {darkest} depth of my soul. I had to pray 100 times today for God to change my attitude about Susanna's routine. I realized that I was seeing her as an event to be scheduled; a problem (bad word choice) to be managed, rather than a human to be loved. Is that the prayer of someone who knows and understands God's sustaining love?

I am still choosing my word for 2012. This weekend I'll spend some time with my sustaining God and see what He has in store for me.